Drinking Buttermilk

So, I drink a lot of buttermilk. I remember when I was a kid watching my grandaddy crumble day-old cornbread into a large glass and drown it in buttermilk to the rim, then eat that with a spoon. I thought that was weird. What is it with old-timers and buttermilk?

Here I am with a low-grade buttermilk addiction. I don’t even understand how everybody isn’t trading in their sodas for it, either. I’m being serious. I don’t know what happened, fully. I think the tastebuds change. Sweet things don’t hold any sway with me. I want savory, and umami. Buttermilk is liquid umami, I think. When people tell me I’m weird for loving it so much, I don’t even understand what they are talking about. How can one not love liquid umami? I just don’t get it. This stuff is like nectar to me. I like it that much.

Wal-Mart starting carrying gourmet buttermilk from Marburger Dairy, in Pennsylvania. Gourmet buttermilk. What a delicacy! The first time I had it I couldn’t believe the sensations. I was used to just the normal local stuff, whatever they have in the grocery store, but my first taste of Marburger blew me away. It has butter flakes in it. Straight up butter flakes. You can feel them in your mouth, little flecks of butter.

I really want to give this the proper amount of empasis: It has little flecks of butter in it.

I understand that not many people have this buttermilk obsession, but if you do, if you actually like drinking buttermilk and you’ve never had Marburger gourmet buttermilk, go to Wal-Mart and see if they have a quart. You think you’ve had buttermilk until you have this stuff. This stuff is a delicacy and it’s like $3 a quart.

It’s gotten to the point that when I am out and about I will stop at Wal-Mart and grab a quart just to drink for lunch. I really don’t need anything else.